Sunday, December 12, 2010

On being that girl

Listen: I know everything is cyclical, and in the scheme of things I am actually very lucky. I know that everyday, I am closer and closer to becoming a teacher, the one and only thing I have ever wanted to do with my life. 

I know that I have been down before and gotten myself back up and all that. I know. 

But oh man. Lately.

The last week or so has been pretty gross. And by gross, I mean terrible.

This is why I haven’t been here lately and why if you’ve seen me in person recently, I haven’t been fully there either.

Where I have typically operated well under pressure, this is a new kind. This is a headaches and panic attacks in the middle of the night kind.

I found myself in an ugly spot Friday night. In a fight with one of the only people on this Earth who truly gets it, but our worlds collided and collided hard.  I found myself in his kitchen, drinking water and reminding myself to breathe.

That's what my life is right now. Constant battles and tough times.

I have three weeks off of school to restart and recharge and just be okay.

I can get myself out of it, and I know that I will. Just one dumb little foot in front of the other.

1 comment:

  1. Good luck! I hope things get better and they you have a great Holiday! Whatever it is you celebrate and whomever you celebrate with, may it be a great one! :)