In October of last year, a few horrible, sad, stressful things happened to me.
The person who was supposed to be my best friend, confidant and everything else decided to make a shitty choice and move out. Putting space between us (both metaphorically and literally) that we would never learn how to deal with.
At first, my entire world came to a screeching halt. Sometimes, I still can't make sense of the pieces that were handed to me without any directions on what to do with them.
Ever since this happened, I have been working on making the choice. I can either control my mind or let my mind control me. I can either decide to deal with this hands on, 100% without holding back or I can hide away and wait for the universe/god/whatever higher being you believe in to tell me what to do and where to go next in my life.
I have been trying so hard to control my mind, to not let the darkness creep in and to do my best with a situation that, a year later, still gets the best of me.
But I believe in my heart that in order to heal effectively, in order to build healthy, strong relationships of any type, sometimes I need to let my mind control me just slightly. I need to give a name to the emotions that I'm feeling and I need to communicate it with the people around me.
So, last October, things were bad. This October, things are going to be so much better. I just know it.