Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The one where she wants to quit her job.

*Look away Constance.

I want to quit my job.

I want to quit my job so bad it hurts.
I have visions of how I would do it. Maybe ice some cupcakes that say "I can't do this anymore. ever" or "it's not worth it to me".

When I think about having to work eight hour days and then go to school at night, I want to puke. 
See, here's why.

1) I'm ridiculously underpaid. Seriously. I'm 7 quarters away from my freaking teacher certification AND my endorsement in special education (focusing on AUTISM!) and my fresh out of high school coworkers make more than I do.

2) My opinions, ideas and concerns are disregarded by 95% of my coworkers. I try my damn hardest to fake that this doesn't bother me. But it completely does.

3) I am eternally holding someone's hand. ETERNALLY. When someone complains because they don't like their hours, they come to me to bitch, when someone can't decide if we should play in the gym instead of outside, it's me they come to.  For the love of Justin Timberlake, make decisions on your own, do YOUR job. Stop relying on your ass kissing abilities and DO YOUR JOB. 

I can't give everything 100% anymore and it's so hard to give something even 90% when I just don't feel like it deserves it.

This is the point where you tell me to shut my mouth and suck it up. Make enough to pay off the credit cards I had to run up to pay for Summer quarter and deal with it. That in the end, in 7 short quarters, I will be a real teacher and have a classroom of my own and not have to look back.

Tell me it's worth it.

p.s. I just tried to pay my tutition online and they want a $72 fee to pay by credit card. I'm done with everyone. ugghh.


  1. Oh! dear... it is like the same thing that i have been going through.... but i quit! it was just too much... they had enough of trying to change me... maybe i am not cut for that but i wasn't happy either pretending to be someone i was not... good riddance for me!! I hope you could find a way too... hugs... xoxoxo

  2. So sorry to hear that! I know how frustrating it can be to be in a place where every day is a struggle! But it sounds like there is light at the end of the tunnel for you -- so encouragement: in 7 short quarters you'll be out on your own, running your classroom & the yuppies will still be doing the same old thing! Hope things start to turn around - or your perspective changes :)

  3. I have been where you are. I have days..sometimes weeks where I hate my job. I mean hate it. Want to lay in bed, not move the entire day other than to get more ice cream and change the movie, but something inside me will not let me quit. I look for other jobs. I get job offers, but nothing out there turns out to be better when it all boils down, and then I have days where I actually feel like I am making a difference. You are going into a profression--where you actually will be making a difference, you are going to be a teacher. You will helping to sculpt the young minds of our future leaders, and you are going to be amazing at it. Take a break from life, go for a walk, or a swim at the local pool. Jog. Get a coffee. Drink vodka. Just spend a day in bed..doing nothing at all. But also--FEEL BETTER! And secretly tell people to Piss off, in your head..or in real life, whichever suits you best. :)

  4. I can relate, I did quit and it was exhilarating.