Friday, May 28, 2010

Comfortable Silence

{Found here}

One of my favorite quotes ever is from Pulp Fiction.

“Don't you hate that? Uncomfortable silence. Why do we feel it's necessary to talk about bull in order to feel comfortable? That's when you know you've found somebody really special. When you can just shut the hell up for a minute and comfortably share a silence”.

In the last 24 hours, life has finally caught up with me. I'm frustrated beyond belief for reasons I can't even begin to describe. I'm frustrated with my current situation, I'm stuck at a job I don't want to be at (no offense) because I literally have no choice due to the fact that Summer tuition is due in two weeks and this is the only way I can go to school, I am feeling so disappointed and let down by so many people in my life and I can only play pretend for so long before I want to hide away.

When things get like this, I have two choices. I can either wallow and hide away from it. Or I can wallow and hide away from it at one of my best friend’s house.

My best friend is the dearest little dear heart and most extroverted feeler on Earth. He is a photographer during the day and draws amazing pictures and comics at night.

He’s ENFJ and the perfect balance to my antsy, depressed self.  He patiently listens to all my teaching stories, all my work stories and all my ideas. He understands when I don’t want to talk and I love him for never pushing.

Today was tough and just plain nasty. I didn’t have anything to say. I just needed to escape and catch my breath.

I need to make peace with situations, I need to deal with what has been given to me and make the best of it.  I need to be ready to face the world and I just don’t think I can yet.

Instead, I’m going to comfortably share a silence. I’m going to enjoy this moment. With him sitting on the floor, focusing on his computer screen carefully editing pictures  and me,  getting lost in a book and closing the door tight on any darkness trying to sneak in.

So what I'm trying to say is, I'm going to take the three day weekend off from the internet to deal. Deal with sucky people, sucky situations and sucky life events. I’m going to comfortably share this silence and be reminded that things can and will be okay.

When I return on Monday or maybe even Tuesday, I'll be ready to take on the world again.

1 comment:

  1. Did you bake bread again, cause that could help...? Just saying....It's 11:30 at night and mine still isn't out of the oven, but the warm smell it brings to the house puts everything in perspective for me.

    I love you lots Whitney Holland. You are the dearest heart and I'm so grateful that this craptacular job brought us together. I know that things aren't always rosy but what's in store for you is full of rainbows and cupcakes with sprinkles.

    Kudos to you for all of your growing, for faking it til you make it and for taking each day as it comes. That's all you can really ask of a person, don't you think?

    I'm with you....can't wait to be "off the grid" for three whole days and just relish the quiet of the woods and the good company.

    I'll be thinking of you!