Saturday, April 17, 2010

On Being Misunderstood

Let me give you some background:

I'm 21.

I graduated high school in 2007. I graduated with my AA in developmental psychology in 2009. I will graduate with my BA in Elementary Education with my endorsement in Special Education in 2012. 

School is the only thing I have known since I was 5 years old. 

Add this to the fact that I was born an anxious soul that is hypersensitive and easily overwhelmed. School is the only place that mellows me out. School is the only place that has consistently made sense to me.

Lately, I've been feeling like I'm not taken seriously. Like my ideas hold no merit because I'm young and unexperienced. 

I learned how to be funny to fit in to a world that constantly upsets me. I learned to make people laugh to hide the fact that inside, I am usually on edge.

It breaks my heart that for some reason, my classmates have been misintrepreting this for not being serious or ready to take on teaching. 

It upsets me to no end that they feel it's okay to constantly poke fun at the fact that I'm the youngest, that I'm the most anxious, that I'm not like them.

I hate the fact that this environment that has been set up to be the most supportive and encouraging environment has now been turned to a place where I feel like I am constantly having to prove myself.

If I would have known that it's more socially acceptable and respected to be 40, taking life to serious and not just now starting my BA, I would have waited.

I thought I was doing the right thing, the only thing I've ever known how to do. 

3 comments:

  1. There is nothing about these women in your classes that should make you doubt yourself. The opinions of others are not what shapes you-you are.

    Remember we learned today that only we allow things inside our bubble, they can only come in with your permission. :)

    Don't give things like that permission, Whitney. I'm still learning this myself, so I can't say that I totally get it. But it breaks my heart to see someone who I think so highly of be brought down by the thoughtless drivel of others.

    Have you read Wally Lamb's I Know This Much is True? That title comes to mind right now-write down what you know is true for YOU and only you. Make sure these are things that come only from your mind and work with only that.

    And when you need reassurance, spend a moment with a friend, a great co-worker ;) your family or even you-to lift your spirits and fill up your tank again.

    But in short?

    Some people just suck.

    Eff them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah well, I'm getting this too often and at my school - I am the minority and it is reflected hourly...and I'll be leaving it soon.

    Your not the only one - remember this.

    ...you have to make the right decisions for you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hate that feeling... Having to "prove" yourself.

    I've come to the conclusion that I shouldn't let other people have that type of control over my life... Now, I try to only want to prove things to myself.

    PS - Thanks for the comment!!

    ReplyDelete