Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Truth

{PJ Taylor Via WeHeartIt}
I have always known that I wanted to be a teacher, specially a K-2 one. There is something in my soul that just makes me truly love what I'm learning how to do. The time I spend in the classroom is so meaningful and always new and exciting and different. The classroom is one of the only places on Earth where I always feel comfortable and at home.

I am so incredible blessed that I got the host teacher that I did. She is so incredibly on board with everything I do and say and is always there to give me feedback and tips in a way that is helpful and encouraging.

But... the more I get into teaching, like the more I swim away from the shore, teaching is not at all what I have thought it was going to be all these years and this is something I have been struggling with a lot lately.

Growing up, I always had an image in my mind and my heart of what this was going to be like. But there is so much below the surface of teaching that nobody prepares you for. There are children living in poverty, children who need help but your school district is 3 million dollars in debt and no longer has the resources to give them the help they need and deserve. There are a million forms and hoops to jump through, learning objectives and goals that you *have* to teach even if it's not what you believe in.

It has taken a lot of adjusting in the last few weeks, a lot of realizing that although it's not what I had in mind and not what I expected, this is what teaching is and this is what I know in my heart I'm meant to do.

So I'll swallow my insecurities and silence the voice in my head that is constantly screaming "Why do this when you could be doing that", I'll remind myself that this is life and although it's not what I expected or wanted, it continues to be what I have always needed.

2 comments:

  1. I feel confident you'll do the best with what you're given. Find a way to hold tight to the ideals you believe in most and give those kids all you've got. I think you'll be the kind of teacher they remember when they're old. :)

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  2. Swallowing your pride is a courageous thing. I applaud you.

    {btw, please give photo credit to my friend PJ Taylor
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/mybluemuse/4187976671/
    Thanks!}

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