Saturday, February 27, 2010

Hi Blog.
I'm just writing real quick to tell you two things.
1) Last night I got the names and addresses of my happy mail recipients. I couldn't be more thrilled. I was geeking out over the little things we have in common. Liking Gilmore Girls! Collecting Buttons! Yay. I'm already brainstorming ideas of what to include in their packages and I just can't wait.
2) I won't be around a whole lot this weekend because I have a huge project on Multiple Intelligences due on Monday and to be honest, I have just barely started it. But, when I do come back, I have so much to write about, living growing up and moving on. Or, about how a child threw up in my classroom yesterday IN THE MIDDLE of my lesson.

Friday, February 26, 2010

It's Friday!

Found here

1. When I'm nervous I do this weird thing with my hands, it's almost like popping my knuckles but without the follow through. Maybe I should post a video of what this looks like because explaining it is giving me a ridiculous visual.

2. My favorite item in my closet is fancy pants. I just bought amazing dress pants that I wear while student teaching. They are comfortable AND professional which is so, so hard to find.

3. Baking cupcakes is my favorite thing to do when I need to relax.

4. My favorite childhood memory is playing school with my sister. I've always *known* I wanted to be a teacher and I would subject my poor little sister to hour after hour of pretend school.

5. Something you may not know about me is I have really bad driving anxiety. I really dislike driving and will only do it when I *absolutely* have to.

6. A true friend will like all your flaws, support all of your ideas and understand that sometimes you just need to be rescued both mentally and from some of your dumb choices.

7. Something I hope people think of when they think of me is that I'm a good teacher.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

An Age Old Question

Second Grader after the first song: "Wow, singing..."

Same second grader ten minutes later: "Wow, they are still going"

Intermission: "I just don't get it"

End of the play: "I just can't believe it. You're an orphan! You have no parents! WHY ARE YOU SINGING!"

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A lesson in Passive Aggressive Email writing

Last quarter, we requested school placement for our first round of practicum (we have a total of 4 placements before our final student teaching). Over the course of the next 9 quarters, I will teach in pretty much every grade.

Anyways, last quarter my placement form was COMPLETELY disregarded. Not only did I not end up in the school district I requested (I ended up in an entirely different TOWN) but I didn't even get the grade levels I asked for.

To insure that this didn't happen when we get placed again in the Fall, I went directly to the school district I want and did the necessary paper work directly with them.

Last night, I emailed my supervisor to let her know that not only was everything good and ready to go but she didn't have to worry about it AT ALL.

These are some of the phrases that were in the email I received back:

-Well, typically...
-That's great
-Do you happen to know if anyone else in the cohort is considering a similar placement?
-See you tomorrow night!

Just in case you don't speak passive aggressive like I do, let me break these phrases down for you.

"Well, typically.." = What are you thinking? Nobody ever questions my way of doing things and I don't care that you're burning more money in gas every week then you make in a month because I messed up your placement BAD.

"That's great" = That's a bunch of crap and I hope it doesn't work out.

"Whatever"= I'm mature, so mature that I say whatever in emails.

Do you happen to know if anyone else in the cohort is considering a similar placement?" = Your Boston Tea Party Antics better stop NOW because I'm going to turn everyone in the cohort against you!

"See you tomorrow night!"= If you don't die first. Those cookies that mysteriously showed up on your doorstep? Spoiler alert, they are full of arsenic. You think driving a half hour each way is bad? You're not going to worry about your host school when you are DEAD.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Ask and You Shall Receive

I've talked a little bit about how things have been difficult lately. Sometimes the weekends are rough, I'm the type of person who prefers to be constantly busy and not have a lot of down time to sit and reflect. I like to constantly be moving forward.

I believe in the powers of the universe and I believe that if you truly deeply need something and are aware of what you need and why, the universe will do everything in its power to make it happen for you.

I found myself saying this weekend, "I just want to be feel better". I kept asking myself or the universe or whoever/whatever is out there listening to give me something to know that it's going to be okay. A reminder that as dark and as difficult as things sometimes get, that I'm on the right path and doing the right thing.

I couldn't wait for this morning and to return to the classroom. I knew that everything would be alright and the world would continue spinning forward. I've said before that the classroom is the only place where I don't feel anxious or sad. All of my drama is checked out the door and this is where I want to be.

Today, my host teacher asked if I wanted to spend the entire day there on Wednesday, not only will I get to teach my lesson and eat lunch with the kids but we are also going to see a play in the afternoon.

I know this is exactly what I've been needing and wanting.


Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Sun will come up, it always does

I used that title for 2 reasons. The first being that next week, I get to go on a field trip with my second graders to see Annie! The second, is that the past week has been filled with high highs and low lows. I've been trying so hard to find the balance with dealing with the realities of life (school work and friend drama) and spending time away from it all.

I've been feeling overwhelmed and ready for a break when I decided to sit outside and breathe. That's when I saw it.

Spring! After such a cold, dark winter, my daffodils and tulips are starting to poke out of the ground.

What a beautiful reminder that as dark and unhappy as things my seem or feel, the sun will come up and even though it doesn't always feel like it, Spring and sun will come.


Friday, February 19, 2010


Taken from here~

1. If I could medal in an olympic event it would be figure skating. I used to be obsessed with watching figure skating. I would even skate to awesome songs.

2. If I was stranded on a deserted island I'd take my sister, my ipod and a book. Probably The Outsiders.

3. Snakes are my most irrational fear.

4. I'd rather hear nails on a chalkboard everyday, than have to watch a Will Smith movie.

5. I am excited about having lunch with one of my favorite lady friends today. I so look forward to some quality girl talk.

6. I should really be getting ready for student teaching.

7. One of my favorite things in all the world is nights spent with good friends, in our pajamas watching movies and talking about life and the powers of the universe.

My goal for this weekend is to spend time with friends, get caught up on lesson plans and take time to enjoy the little things. Life has been hectic and super stressful but there is only 3 weeks left in the quarter. To me, that's like being stranded out to see and finally being able to see the rescue boat.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Happy Happy

Today is my parents' wedding anniversary.

I won't tell you how many years they have been married because then you would know that they were married after I was born. I mean um...

They celebrated this day by going out to lunch at the Olive Garden and then picking up their darling daughters some things from Wal mart.

I celebrated this day by sitting around in my sweat pants and catching up on the 9203 things I had on the DVR.

My parents have an awesome relationship. They have made some unfortunate and untimely situations work and have survived countless years of family and life drama.

If I believed in marriage as something eventually in the cards for myself, I'd hope to one day have a relationship similar to theirs.

Happy Anniversary!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Anna Howard Shaw Day

In an effort to avoid any Valentine's Day hoopla, I have taken after my soul twin Liz Lemon and have called today Anna Howard Shaw day.

Oh! Before I show you what's been going on today, I busted open my lip Friday night, doing something completely lame so I'll just let you make up an awesome story on your own. Anyways, check this sucker out:
Ignore the frizzy hair and just focus on that lip.

Back to Anna Howard Shaw Day:

Heart shaped pancakes!

Our dinner tonight was amazing. Twice stuffed potatoes are one of my favorite things to make, I got this particular recipe out of the Kraft Magazine (which makes my heart so so happy, if you don't get it already, go sign up for it now!) Anyways, the recipe calls for sour cream, kraft ranch dressing with bacon bits and cheese, everything you should NOT eat but can get away with on a holiday. So so good.

Tomorrow is my birthday! We decided to start celebrating tonight with amazing cupcakes.

This is my last post being 20! I should end it in a clever and meaningful way but I'm so so full and ready for bed.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Fill in the Blank Friday

I decided to try something new today!
*Inspired by The Little Things We Do*

1. I am hoping my Valentine's day this year includes my family, a few friends and a good meal. I'm going to limit my time feeling bitter and focus on the people I *love*.

2. My biggest guilty pleasure is Lady Gaga. Luckily, my best friend in my program feels the same way and we sing her songs often.

3. I am most proud of graduating from college, getting into Western and never, ever giving up.

4. If I could choose one outfit to live in it would be I recently bought myself a treat, a fancy and expensive pair of jeans, they are super comfortable and fit me just right, these jeans paired with my favorite pair of flats, a comfortable t-shirt and a cardigan and I'm set for life.

5. People are surprising me more and more every day. In my teaching program, we had an amazing group meeting on Tuesday and this week has been full of surprises from people I wouldn't expect.

6. I would rather be at home, warm and snuggly reading a book than being productive today, but that's life.

7. I love my cohort 24 friends more than slipper socks and being at home wearing sweat pants, which is an awful lot!

I'm off to have a Valentine's Day party in the class that I student teach in, swing by a candle party with one of the girls in my program then go to the airport with another school friend to pick up her husband.

Life is good.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

My Apologies Cupid

Dear Valentine's Day,

Usually I love you. I can't wait for you. But this year, I'm just not feeling you so much. Maybe next month. Could we try again for next month?

I don't need the constant reminders that I'm sitting home alone. I don't need to see pictures of happy happy couples. I'm doing just fine on my own thanks.

Maybe I'll just sleep through you this year. When I wake up, it will be my birthday and it will be just fine that I'm married to my education and my student teaching and not to my "perfect match".

Don't take it personal Valentine's Day. It's definitely not you, it's me.


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A few of my favorite things

As you know, this week has been awful.

But, I am working hard to find the beauty that is buried under all the crap.

Here are a few of my favorite things so far:

A cupcake made and decorated with love by one of my favorite classmates and personality type twins.
Sir Elton John and Mr. Billy Joel singing to me.

Downtown Seattle, one of my favorite places in the world.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

On being your teacher with depression.

Inspired by this post which has given me the motivation to go on, even when I feel like I'm drowning.

Dear Mrs. C's class,

Some mornings, I wake up sad. I'm not sure why or when it's going to happen. It just does. More than you being able to read as many words as possible in one minute, or knowing the right forms of "there" and "their", I want you to learn from me that even when you feel like the world is too much, you can and you will survive.

Some days the darkness creeps in, some days I just give in and let it. But being in your classroom and having each and everyone of you help me become the best teacher I can, helps push the darkness out.

Some days it's just too much to handle, I feel like I'm not doing a good job, I feel like I'm not even doing an adequate job. I just wish each of you could know that being your teacher, even if it is just for a few hours a few days a week, is the only thing I have ever wanted and needed to do with my life.

I want you to know that each tiny victory we celebrate together, each time you get something right and I can see it, literally see you getting it and knowing it, is what helps me get out of bed on the mornings when I feel like I can't.

Being your teacher has given me a whole new purpose. It has closed the door and the windows tight and the darkness is having a much harder time getting in.

And even on nights like tonight, when little pieces are feeling dark, I know that tomorrow morning, you'll tell me about your weekend, you'll show me your new shoes, you'll tell me about your cousin's birthday party. The world will make sense again and I'll be okay.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,

Miss W.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Truth

{PJ Taylor Via WeHeartIt}
I have always known that I wanted to be a teacher, specially a K-2 one. There is something in my soul that just makes me truly love what I'm learning how to do. The time I spend in the classroom is so meaningful and always new and exciting and different. The classroom is one of the only places on Earth where I always feel comfortable and at home.

I am so incredible blessed that I got the host teacher that I did. She is so incredibly on board with everything I do and say and is always there to give me feedback and tips in a way that is helpful and encouraging.

But... the more I get into teaching, like the more I swim away from the shore, teaching is not at all what I have thought it was going to be all these years and this is something I have been struggling with a lot lately.

Growing up, I always had an image in my mind and my heart of what this was going to be like. But there is so much below the surface of teaching that nobody prepares you for. There are children living in poverty, children who need help but your school district is 3 million dollars in debt and no longer has the resources to give them the help they need and deserve. There are a million forms and hoops to jump through, learning objectives and goals that you *have* to teach even if it's not what you believe in.

It has taken a lot of adjusting in the last few weeks, a lot of realizing that although it's not what I had in mind and not what I expected, this is what teaching is and this is what I know in my heart I'm meant to do.

So I'll swallow my insecurities and silence the voice in my head that is constantly screaming "Why do this when you could be doing that", I'll remind myself that this is life and although it's not what I expected or wanted, it continues to be what I have always needed.