Friday, January 15, 2010

Let's Get Lost Tonight

Awhile back, C and I created a rule where we were only allowed to talk about work or kids from work a maximum of 10 minutes otherwise we found that the nights we spent together were full of negative feelings and constant worry about the kids that we spend our time with, what we could be doing better, how we have been doing the best that we can.

Today this rule was reinforced in full force because I have been beating myself up about one of the girls in the class that I student teach in.

On Fridays they have their test on the story that we spent the whole week working on. This girl (we'll call her B) turned in her test and her answers were no where near right. Her spelling was off and her answers missed the concept completely. When I ran through the questions with her verbally, she answered almost all of them correctly but when she went to write the answer in the spot, it was gone. It was like something short circuited and instead of running correctly, it just burnt out.

My first instinct was that she has a hard time with fluency or comprehension. Maybe me telling her the questions verbally was the key, so I wrote the plan to up her reading this week to see if it would make any difference. When I assessed her on Monday and Wednesday, she read two different stories that were two different skill levels and she did great so reading isn't the problem after all.

My next guess is motivation. There could be something at home that is making her have a hard time focusing, it could be environmental, maybe the people she sits next to or near are distracting her. There are a million and one maybes and I know that I won't be satisfied until I figure out what it is and I fix it.

The thing I struggle with the most is accepting when I don't have all the answers, accepting when I am doing the best that I can do with what I have been given. I need to learn to leave B and all my other kids at school. I need to draw the line and separate myself from my work.

Otherwise I'll be over my ten minutes before I'm even through the door.

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