Saturday, December 12, 2009
The last twenty four hours have been a true test. Things have happened that I just can't wrap my mind around. I'm constantly struggling with the fact that sometimes things happen that just don't make sense, some times situations are just out of my control.
It's a difficult feeling, the moment when you realize that you put entirely too much faith and trust in someone who did not deserve it. It's even more difficult when you realize that the structure you worked on building has come crumbling down so fast, by the time you notice that anything is wrong, it's already in pieces on the floor.
Instead of making sense of things, instead of constantly questioning why or wondering what I did wrong; I'm just focusing right now on constantly pushing forward.
Right now my job is to remind myself that "the world only spins forward", right now things are uncomfortable and difficult, right now there are days when it's hard to get out of bed, let alone pretend that I'm feeling okay, but eventually the day will come when things will stop hurting. Albeit, I'm definitely not feeling okay with the shape of things, I know that by surrounding myself with positive people who genuinely give a shit, by keeping myself busy and not taking time to acknowledge the unfortunate way that things are right now, I am on the road to being okay.
Posted by Whitney at 4:49 PM