Because I'm a loser and am sitting home passing out candy, I decided to be semi productive and blog my whole candy distributing experience.
5:53- Hello, girl I went to high school with and your offspring.
5:55- Fighting with my grandmother about Wal-Mart putting christmas stuff up too soon. I realize this is a pointless battle and go back to staring at my screen to make it seem like I'm doing something important.
5:57- Girl that is blind and deaf. Thank you Western for teaching me how to communicate with her.
5:58- Asian girl dressed as Geisha. Oh geez.
6:00- I just said sitting on the ground is hurting my knees. Except the parents walking up just heard the "hard on my knees" part. I already win teacher of the year.
6:03- Hippie and a baby. How does that work?
6:11- Kid mocking me for being on the computer. F you kid.
6:13- I hate kids who don't say thank you. makes me wish I had baked poison cookies.
6:28- White kid dressed as a black kid. ROBERT DOWNEY JR SAY WHHATT
6:32- I hate unfriendly parents. Don't worry I have NO interest in snatching your spawn.
6:38- GIRL DRESSED AS PIRATE. I LOVE YOU.
6:51- Kid just specified what candy he wanted. DICK.
6:55- Mom just asked me for one of those little strawberry candies. TWEAKER
6:56- Kid just asked "what are you doing on that computer" writing crap about you kid, that's what.
7:00- Just got asked if this is the house "from last year". Um yeah.
7:22-I don't buy the whole "my sister is sick at home trick".
7:25- It's so cold I can see myself breathing. UGH.
7:27- Running out of candy, I should start handing out life advice instead
7:30- Teenagers not dressed up and requesting I put candy in their backpacks. That's just lazy.
7:37- Babies are cute. Babies dressed as bugs and animals are cute. Babies that are barely two months and cannot hold their head up but I’m supposed to give them candy? Not cute.
7:45- I’m cold and running out of candy.
7:50- Saw kid from my summer program. He proceeded to yell “HI MISS WHITNEY IT’S ME N**** DO YOU LIVE IN THIS HOUSE? I’M GOING TO SEE YOU NEXT YEAR. Time to call a real estate agent.
7:53- Grown man dressed as Woman. What’s up Lady Gaga
8:00- Pondering the idea of giving away the rest of the crappy cheap candy and keeping the good stuff for myself.
8:05- I really do think there should be a cut off. Like once you have boobs and need to shave your arm pits, you don’t need to trick or treat.
8:10- UNFRIENDLY PARENTS SUCK.
8:13- Winding down.
8:17- I take that back.
8:20- I have seen 8328325 Optimus Prime kids tonight. I would have been bumblebee.
8:22- PRINCESS LEIA COMPLETE WITH HAIR!
8:25- sooooo cold.
8:29- All I have left are the Costco sized bag of mini candy bars. This is a sign for the universe to retreat inside.
8:30- Turning lights off.
8:35- Doorbell rings, I hear kids saying my name. Oh geez, I hope it’s not N**** again bringing the 30 other kids from over the Summer to prove that I live here.
8:37- phew it’s just my babysitting kids. Who are awesome btw.
8:40- I’m done for real now.